


Hiccups

by snowflake97



Series: Top Gear Series [3]
Category: Top Gear (UK) RPF
Genre: Gen, Hiccups, Mention of QI episode, Poor Richard, Richard has the hiccups
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-27
Updated: 2015-01-27
Packaged: 2018-03-09 05:56:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 503
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3238829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snowflake97/pseuds/snowflake97
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Richard has the hiccups. Jeremy and James try to work out a way to cure him of them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hiccups

It had been going on for about half an hour now; constant enough for Andy to put a hold on filming until they ceased after ten minutes of the constant tirade. Everyone in the crew, including Jeremy and James, were looking at him with annoyance on their faces. The filming had been going so well, and then Richard hiccupped. Normally, they would just edit out the hiccup, and make him redo the line, but they would not stop.

Deeply uncomfortable with the constant stream of hiccups, Richard disappeared into the portakabin, to get away from the onslaught of glares from his co-workers. He then settled onto the small sofa in the room, curling up on his side, hoping to relieve the pressure the constant hiccupping had put onto his chest. Richard groaned in discomfort.

A few minutes later, the two men he called co-presenters walked loudly into the small room. He was so used to the loud way Jeremy and James (though the latter slightly less so) would do things, so he wasn’t frightened or scared. Which was slightly unfortunate, as that was one cure for hiccups.

Hiccupping again, Richard whimpered in discomfort, not caring for the mockery that was sure to come from his two mates.

Finally, Jeremy spoke up.

“I know a way to get rid of hiccups.” He said with an evil grin.

Richard just hiccupped in response.

“Has this got anything to do with your most recent QI episode?” James asked, smirk spreading across his face as he clued into what Jeremy was talking about.

Jeremy nodded, his evil grin growing larger. Richard, who hadn’t seen the episode yet (he was going to watch it that night!) was very confused, but was rather willing to do anything to relieve himself from the spasming in his chest.

“Name me seven bald blokes.” Jeremy told the hiccupping man, who completed this task quickly.   
Richard hiccupped again.

“How is that supposed to help?” he groaned, curling into himself further.

“Well, I could shove my finger up your arse.” the elder man spoke calmly, while James sniggered quietly. 

The statement shocked Richard so much, that he fell off the sofa. He looked up at the elder man, with wide eyes, hands moving to cover his backside, as though it would protect him. After a few moments, he realised the hiccupping had stopped, and, reluctantly, smiled gratefully up at the man, who still towered above him. 

Jeremy and James couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of the small man on the floor. This, in turn, almost made them collapse onto the floor with the youngest, but the managed to support each other. 

“All gone?” James asked, as they finally calmed down enough to speak. 

“Yup!” Richard said happily, having stood up while the other two were laughing. 

‘Hic!’

“Ah fuck!” Jeremy swore, his chest spasming, as a hiccup tore through him. 

Richard smirked with amusement, as he and James tried to figure out a way to cure the older man of his hiccups.


End file.
